Ruby Choose-Day!

"She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows, she comes and goes"

As the Rolling Stones so famously recorded fifty years ago last month, about a free spirited woman. Ruby Tuesday is a song that has been repeating in my auditory sphere recently and as I listen to the words- they mean so much more to me than that of one free spirited woman groupie!

Not only does the name 'Ruby' obviously hit home with me and bring up some deep, guarded emotions, but the words and melody just bathe my soul and being in the deep rooted belief system I have that 'all will be okay', and to be free and live in peace is the ultimate goal. Not in a sense of taking off in a caravan wearing tie dyed clothes and burning incense, but a deep connection with myself. Having an understanding that no matter what the external body may look like or have challenges with, arms and legs which move involuntarily, a mouth that does not utter words in the 'usual' sense. Legs and feet which may not support you when upright and the need to rely on someone else for every aspect of daily living and survival on earth. Having and gaining this realisation that regardless of these differences and challenges in life, life is still good. Life is still a blessing and so much true life, peace and freedom can come out of such adversities.

"Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothings gained
And nothings lost, at such a cost"


So where am I going with this blog today? To be honest, I am unsure, however when I feel the need to write, I just write!

Last week we received an updated report from an MRI carried out on Ruby's Brain, Spinal Cord and spine. The last was in 2011 when life was somewhat turbulent and I was in a very dark place. The purpose of the MRI is in preparation for spinal surgery coming up later this year to fuse Ruby's spine together. Not a nice procedure by any means and has taken a lot of thought and deep questioning of 'why'? The short answer is, to give quality of life in the upcoming years. To allow organs the space to work how they need to, for breathing to be less laboured, for sitting and standing to be more comfortable and for Ruby's overall comfort. After getting to the hospital and being told that there had been an error made with the paperwork sent out, that Ruby would need a General Anaesthetic for the MRI to be conducted and this would be another date, you can guess that I wasn't leaving without at least giving it a go! So, I had a little chat to Ruby and explained that we want to avoid the anaesthetic and we will make her positioning as comfortable and supported as possible, with relaxation music and me by her side throughout the 45 minute procedure. She listened! My little Ruby Star did it- surprised the medical staff yet again. She isn't your 'usual' 7 year old child I explained!!!

Then the day came where the report was ready. The time where we would get to hear all that is going on in my little girls body and why for the past six and a half years she has been handed such challenges that most people do not experience in a life time. Guess what- the MRI had nothing! The brain is 'normal' the spinal chord is 'normal'. The spine itself has a left curvature (which we knew!). Other than that doctors can not explain what is going on!!

You see, to me Ruby is whole. Ruby is perfect and Ruby is healed. Ruby is here to give me a kick up the butt and has created a life I never dreamt of. A life where I found myself, a life where I am able to put my vision and values and mission in place and with that take both my girls on the journey to continue on this path of knowing what true 'free spirit' is.

"There's no time to lose", I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind
Ain't life unkind?

I believe these words are not only about Ruby but written by Ruby also. So with this, take the words as you may. It is not 'Ruby Tuesday'  but in our eyes 'Ruby Choose-Day'. What do you choose in life and how do you intend to live, to be free, in peace and believe that all will be okay?

We're in this together. xx