The year draws to an end and here we are. Just here, in this present moment. Nothing more, nothing less. What has the past year delivered to you? What single defining moments do you recall and take with you through to the New Year embarking upon us? Moments which, at the time you felt with every ounce of flesh, bone, muscle, heart beat and your soul.
This may seem a little deep and challenging to digest, however this is what I personally have come to realise, but yet struggle to accept, learn and move forward with a sense of trust and freedom from thought.
I encourage you to take a look at the art work by Grant Stevens ‘Tranquillity Falls’. I found myself drawn to the Gallery of Modern Art, Brisbane a few months ago and stood, mesmerised, taken to another place, a beautiful, tranquil, joyful, peaceful place, almost like a meditative state. In front of me was this digital art display which for once, took all thought away from me. The words and sound did not require thought, rather a feeling. A soul soothing, gut reaching feeling of pure love and oneness with myself. In that moment nothing else mattered. The words “Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new centre of gravity. Don’t fight them, just find a different way to stand”, resonate so deeply with me. I have embedded this so deeply in my being that I just know challenges will come, and they will too pass. I cannot control nor avoid them. I can accept, show gratitude and move forward.
I have the absolute delight and gratitude for what I have faced and overcome, for without such challenges, battles, fights, negativity and hostility I would not be where I am. At the time I would take personally and really suffer, lose breath, make myself exhausted and sick. The moment I chose to take these challenges in my stride and realise things do not happen TO me, they happen and it’s up to me to take them how I choose. I have the freedom of choice and the power to embrace them and choose darkness or light. Light may not happen immediately as generally us human beings struggle with understanding our ability to have choice, but when you realise, the light appears through the darkness sooner and I can only imagine that one day soon I’ll live each and every day in light, love and peace.
I have the privilege to be building upon my life’s purpose and calling to help our little children, and their families, facing what we see as big battles. To our human adult eyes we may see pain, hurt, suffering and a life less fulfilled as we would dream of for our little ones. I have lived this, I have breathed this and boy did it bring me to the deepest depths of depression, anxiety, sadness and hopelessness. One thing I would pray for was for my little girl’s pain to be taken away. For her to go even a few hours free from pain. Three and a half years of constant 24/7 screaming then came to an end. The screaming stopped. Just withdrew from her tiny body. This happened overnight. I cannot explain what happened, I do not have the answers of what was creating such suffering, but I know she is at peace now. Each and every day I show gratitude, as I know my little girl is happy and loving life. She may be non-verbal, she may be non-mobile, she may be fed through a gastrostomy tube and require 24/7 care, but she chose to be here and live her life. Ruby is that precious gem that we all search for in our own lives. That glimmer of hope, of beauty, of richness and sparkle. The truth is, each and every one of us has it, it sometimes takes moments of heartache and reaching rock bottom to see that precious gem shining from a distance. The moment you make the choice to go after it, draw it in, hold it close and look at it every day, is the moment you will realise you just need to find a new centre of gravity.
“We often don’t even realise who we are meant to be because we are so busy trying to live out someone else’s ideas, but other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny” (Grant Stevens, Tranquillity Falls 2013).
I have no great plans, desires or dreams for the year ahead. I will, however, show gratitude for the year that has been and my learnings from it. I will also reaffirm to myself the importance for living in the now, moment by moment and trusting that all will happen as it should. This is my choice for the year. What will yours be?
Much love and peace. xx
