The peace of a traffic jam!

I found myself, the other day, in a familiar yet frustrating situation. For what is so predictable and typical of my journey, I left with anticipation and hope that ‘pfffffft, it’s going to be different today’! Nope, same as it has been 99 percent of times travelled this road! Road block, back to back traffic, standstill, gridlock, congestion, rush hour, traffic jam, I could continue. All of which aren’t overly pleasant words or phrases. The majority would probably agree that traffic jams are something we would prefer to not encounter, especially on a daily or weekly basis. So why was this day so awakening to me? As my anger and frustration grew in anticipation for what was around the corner, which I couldn’t yet get a glimpse of, but in the pit of my stomach knew was about to confront me, I came to a halt and just let go.

You see, what I am discovering is that we spend our lives speeding along trying to avoid hurdles and speed bumps, trying to keep everyone happy for a smooth ride, fast tracking every moment with family, friends, work colleagues and ourselves just to try and reach your final destination. Now, where might this destination be? For me, I have learnt and continue to learn that my destination doesn’t have an end point. This therefore isn’t a final destination but my ambition, passion, vision and mission for my own life. Just like a business plan, we each need an objective, vision and mission for where we are heading. This may be a temporary or mobile goal, but it’s what YOU want to achieve, and when you do it only intensifies and tempts us to reach for another goal on our journey. There are of course plenty of times when I have felt that this journey is so darn hard and excruciatingly painful, like a road block hits me and knocks me back at a hundred miles an hour, sometimes off my feet and I hit the floor with an almighty thud! This can be very painful indeed and makes me question what on earth am I doing? Why on earth am I doing this? Then the jam starts to part way and I can see what’s in front of me and what I am driving toward. I just have to get through these knock backs and hold ups and persevere clutching hold of the faith and trust that I am on the road I need to be and once I overcome this moment, it will all become clear.

“The worst use of time in a person’s life is when he waits for the traffic lights changing from red into green!”
― Vikrant Parsai

Learning to accept a situation and dealing with it is one of the toughest learning curves we face.  I sit in the congestion, staring at the concrete barriers, observing the other human beings sat staring aimlessly, just as vulnerable yet just as important as the next person. Most have a blank look upon their faces, some are obviously struggling with the situation, trying to push their way past everyone else but not getting any further and some are genuinely concerned and frantically on the phone trying to organise and re-shuffle the rest of their day. I have now decided to embrace the moment and savour the inner peace growing inside me.  A midst the chaos surrounding me, I listen to the lyrics of a song:

Had a cloudy head, yeah I know that
Since the fog cleared I'll never go back
And I'm grateful they shot me down or the person I am I would not be now
Yeah, it ain't good to be bullet proof cause in the end that bullet will be good for you
When I think of all the things that I wouldn't do now if it wasn't for that one little bullet wound
That means you've gotta learn for mistakes and no one persons the same
Don't run from anything that hurts you to face each step you take you get further away
There was a time when I thought of giving up what I was living my life for didn't come
Now I haven't got time for what I wouldn't die for I know that life's short so live it up

360: Live it up.

At the end of the day, there is not a lot we can do to change a situation which hits us out of nowhere, but it is how we manage it.

"The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances."

Andrew Bernstein

My journey is happening, my vision is clear, my mission is written. I do know what on earth I am doing and why on earth I am doing it. For me, my destination is yet to be determined however I know that I will embrace and uphold my beliefs, faith and hope that everyone will too see their own vision and mission in life come to fruition. For it is only when we are placed in a traffic jam that we have the time to realise what on earth we are doing there.

"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."

Terry Pratchett

Care for your self and soul

There are twenty four hours a day given to you, to do with what you will. Hmmmmm twenty four hours, doesn't seem like much, but to many 120 hours a week are wished away to get to the weekend, where many people try to cram as much in to 48 hours as possible, before misery sets in again! Why do we do this? Why can't we enjoy each and every minute, hour and day which is on offer?

I can tell you that I have spent many hours focussing on situations which really aren't a priority or a concern of mine. These situations have generally involved worrying about others, what they think, feel, believe, perceive etc. How others see me and what I believe, how I handle situations, what I do, where I go etc. What have I been thinking? Why should I care or worry about what others think?

“If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself”
― Jocelyn Murray

I have spent the past few months so completely and utterly focussed and consumed with what others think and feel. As I delve deeper and deeper into others lives, issues and worries, my breath becomes shorter, shallower and I lose who I am. Not that I know exactly who I am, but I choke and standstill for a moment....then I discover my self!

One morning a complete stranger entered my home, whom I had welcomed in.  In one moment the effect of this exasperated every ounce of 'keeping my cool' I ever had! This moment left me motionless, breathless, winded and utterly disappointed in how one human being can be so cruel and beastly. The lack of gratitude, grace and goodness was enough to shake me to pieces and question my own values and beliefs. After a good bout of discussion with likeminded humans, who I take liberty to call 'earth angels' I realised that I need to just let it go! Do not let others affect my own beliefs and values. Do not let others distort the truth I hold close and how I want to lead my life.

It's so darn hard though! To feel as though you are wading through a pond of reeves, with the gusty wind hammering every move you make, each direction you take, when would you ever feel as though you are moving in the same direction as the world around you? The truth is, until you let the external factors go, let other people's issues and dramas go, meditate on your own beliefs and your own personal mantra to look after YOURSELF first, you will continue to feel stuck.

"breath is the private mantra
guiding prayer
follow your feet knees hips
belly heart hands
be willing to lose your balance
surrender to what matters most
and dive into the unknown"

[Waiting for my life...Reclaiming the lost pieces of me, 2012, Nancy Levin]

Today was a release for me, in one moment my spirit lifted, faith restored and I realised I AM following my vision and mission for my life purpose. I am finally looking after MY SELF and from doing this I will only be able to assist those around me. From being true to myself, others will embrace this energy and vibration. Those who do not, do not matter in the grand scheme of who you are, and what you are about.

“I can't compete for likes and follows, I won't win. What I will do is pour out my heart and allow love to reach those that need it.” 
― E'yen A. Gardner