"Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory." Ghandi
So I must admit that times have certainly been testing me lately. I thought I had the strength and determination of any strong willed and motivated individual, but seems I am being pushed that bit further...and further....
So we're up to approx 24 months of questioning, screaming, fighting, frustration, anger and excrutiating fatigue, with STILL no answers.
Just when things start to get a little better with improvement and teeny tiny steps forward, we're again handed one giant slap in the face and take ten steps back. How many visits to the hospital and specialists does one need to endure??
The latter part of 2011 has certainly been a rollercoaster. Including a trip to the UK, ALONE! What a refreshing and energising two weeks of my life that was. Firstly I recall having the ability to actually think for myself, think clearly, think without influence or criticism. The visit to the Golden Mosque, Brunei was the first stop where our small group of three were told to walk into the prayer room, clear our minds and ask for clarity and answers. In that moment I felt a large, deep breath of energy and openess enter my soul. My 12 hours in Brunei achieved for me what some people may wait a lifetime for.
During my fleeting visit to the UK I spent it catching up with dear friends, suprising a number of them, proudly standing by my best friend as she married her sweetheart and BIG BELLY LAUGHS in old London town!
To some this may appear selfish and extravagant when I have responsibilities and little funds back in Australia, but without it I am certain I would have come close to crashing and burning.
With several hospital visits, specialist appointments, new doctors and therapists I have all reason for a positive 2012. Surely it's time to bring peace to my dear Ruby and family and allow her to grow and blossom into that bright shining star we know she is.
To end this post I will finish with....
"What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it." Alexander Graham Bell
